Been A Long Time

I think its time for another blog. Its been a long time since my last one, I was gonna concern myself with gifts and suggestions on them, but with my current relationship in limbo at the moment, I feel it is unimportant.
-Moving on then, I will do my most current rant, and perhaps my last, cause I have better things to do, on my thoughts about the past 3 years. Its been a good 3 years, I suppose. I've really enjoyed having at least one solid friend, but at the back of my mind thats what I'm starting to think it was. A friendship more than a relationship....But, more than that. Something strange and twisted, but not in an evil way.
-Overall, I wanted more emotion, more devotion, and more time together.
Its so cruel sometimes, all the fantasies, movies, TV, games, stories...they portray these wonderfully handsome men who are entirely devoted to a woman, even if they have flaws or troubles, they remain unconditionally in love with the heroine. With so much of that surrounding us, its hard to be confronted with the harsh reality that there are no men like that. There may have been sometime, but not now. Like a lot of women, (I may have ranted about this before) I feel like I have, I wished for my knight in shining armor, especially because i really like all that medieval stuff, but mine fell a little short of what I expected. I am still happy and grateful for him, but I cant help but wonder if there are men like that somewhere, in some far off country or planet.
I guess they dont exist, and I guess I'm too particular. But, I would prefer to be alone than to be disatisfied. I guess thats what a lot of women are too...alone. Thats not so bad if you have other friends to be with too. I just wonder if thats really for me...
Do the goods outweight the bads? I suppose so....Its important to have someone nice, caring, healthy, and commited....but if they arent there most of the time, then are those qualities really valid? It all sums up to a little bit more than a good friendship.
-I suppose I am ready for a bit more than a good friendship, and will be forced to move on should the opportunity present itself.
-As for right now, my thoughts are jumbled on how I should go about more daily actions. Is it that easy to simply break up with a person? No...its a hard process if you really like them. Its not so easy when they havent done anything wrong in particular. Even so, I feel like I must take a stand. If I dont try for something else, then I wont know what else is out there. So, I think this will be my last blog, since I only have one person really reading them. But, it was fun while it lasted, thanks for reading my random rants on various games....mostly cause i couldnt find the appropriate forums to put it on. Who knows, I may decide to start them up again one day. But...as for now, the blogs are discontinued. You wanna know what I'm thinkin' about? Call me sometime (you dont call enough) and see. *hint* (Calling means you care about what I think)
I suppose if i have to spell it out like that then either I dont know the male species very well (quite possible), or I need to be looking for a specimen that can decipher my hints. :3 (i dont like to be mean and just tell u outright, what would be the fun in that?)

Arrgh! Simurgh!

I'm gonna rant now about being angry, cause thats what I am! Its been a long time since my last blog...like in Feb. I never got to that gift giving lesson, but I will in the next one. Im excited about AX this year, only a month away or so. Im mad about not being aware of anything until its already too late, like the dates of Fanime. Everyones going this year, but me! I feel so left out. It was like the time everyone went to AX and I couldnt go cause my parents said my grades were bad.
I need friends in these desolate times...the times when I have nothing to do...and no one to hang out with, cause there so far away! Its been going on 4 years now at stupid school, and I have yet to make one close friend I can just call and hang out with. Its pitiful! Even Doug has made some good anime fan friends...where do these ppl hide? They must hide from me, cause I rarely encounter them. Maybe I'm not friendly enough....but, I'm actually quite shy. Once school is over...friendships im afraid will be over too....its just not fair. I wish I could post a want ad..."Looking for friends" just like in Japanese class for real. The people I meet are so....distant. They dont want to bug me to hang out, there in none of my classes, so what is there to really talk about? I dunno. Small talk is just that, small. My interests are quite narrowed, but I seem to have made good high shcool friends. I think the common thing linking us all was common classes though. I share nearly no classes with any new people I've met. And the classes they take are vastly different from mine, so I cant really relate. I live quite far from them, so its not easy to come over. Making good friends is just so difficult now. I fear this will be like the rest of my adult life....
If that's not enough, I've been feeling fairly ill lately. Maybe too many late nights, or too much cat exposure, I dont know. Not enough chlorophyll, or maybe Im just aging. My back hurts, my stomach hurts every now and then, i get kinda queasy sometimes. I can feel my sinuses increasing in pressure, they cause all sorts of trouble. Then I thought myself awake last night, and couldnt go to bed for a long while. Achy and bitter, thats it. I want a private luxury spa treatment, with smoothies. I dont feel comfortible with ppl "treating" me. Manicure, pedicure, those arent relaxing.....i feel sorry for the person who has to trim my nails. What I need is a massage chair. Then i can be relaxed, and not have to think about people.
I'm just so tired. Physically tired, mentally worn...hyped up on sugars, so i cant go to sleep. Its a horrible, frustrating place to be. I think...I would go back to ffxi just to chat with my old friends there if they still play. It was a great networking experience, I had so many ppl to chat with and we had a common goal, gameplay. :3 It was so nice....
When I was younger, I thought I didnt need ppl to chat with, that I could be a loner, but....as hardened as my outer appearance needs to be...I find I do need ppl. If only enough to talk to, so Im not sitting at this damned computer screen blogging about how irritated I am. But, the writings soothe my spirit a bit. The computer is a constant listening companion, I suppose. It never judges, lets me use it until it breaks, and doesnt tire of hearing my stories. It never talks to me, but in that way its like a pet. Ori ignores me half the time, and only talks to me when he wants my attention. Maybe I need a new cat. My fish are so dumb that they are nothing more than interesting moving wall ornaments. I suppose I have ppl to talk to...just none my age, that relate to me. I just wanna chat about playing brawl, or blazblue, or pokemon. Maybe cosplay techniques, or even some animes, though i havent seen many. Art styles, any of those topics would be fine. I look foward to seeing my high school friends again soon. Maybe in the meantime, I should re-evaluate what it means to be a friend. I just want one, non-romantic, close friend from college that I can call on, hang out with, play games together, that has similar background and tastes that i do. Is that too much? Too specific? Perhaps it is. I guess this will be one of those bury myself in so much work that I forget i need friends days...or grind on the game until i forget what day it is. it may be an obssesive trance, but at least it passes the time. Im already staying up too late... i shouldve been to bed awhile ago, but I just cant seem to rest. im bored, sleepy, and lonely, all mae for a worse combination or miserableness. But, on the bright side, theres always 2morrow. One day down....it may be bad, but tomorrow could be better. I could start feeling better 2morrow. I could make a new friend 2morrow. I could get that other meal I skipped out on today, or i could cook stuff that i shouldve cooked today. Do all my things i need to do. be productive, I suppose. I guess these are the times I could be able to work, at least i would be getting paid for my efforts. Now im getting tired of this. My rant is over, and I'll be staring at stuff in restlessness, but at least it will be in the comfy bed. :3

women 150-welcome to class

Women 150: language and communication
-on language and communication, women can be hard to translate at times. This guide details only some rough translations of a particular female, not to be applied to all.
1. When conversing with females, think indepthly about what they say. For example, if they tell you something specific, but not exactly direct, its usually a sign that this subject needs more attention.
ex1: "My shoulder hurts." -in this situation, this translates clearly into: Please rub my shoulders/back, i am in need of your attention now.
ex2: "Those are the shoes I would want..." -here, she is insinutating that you should buy them for her, or be actively looking for the item mentioned.
ex3: "I've been working so hard on this, (and its still not working...)" -This is a direct plea for your help with the project or item. You should respond in either case of the item isnt working, or merely that she mentioned it, and did not mention she finished it.
Not too bad yet, hopefully. Lets continue.
2. Body language is important to everything. Some more subtle nuances are:
1. A distracted stare at something non entertaining- this is a non vocal want of comfort from you, or some form of physical attention.
2. Territorial females will often want to display their claim if they feel threatened by others. This may include unwanted grooming, static clinginess, and other displays.
to be continued with gifts, perspective and history, and responses.

Real vampires don't sparkle, but interesting, nonetheless.

Okay, so again I've had too much time on my hands, and its time...for another blog! But! I'm feeling supernatural today, so I'm gonna rant about the differences and similarities between zombies and vampires. Here goes.
Gonna try to get some charts in here, blogger has some odd text formatting @~@;
So basically, both are under the category of Undead. You have to be dead first to be either, period. They are essentially opposite possibilities of an earthly life after death.
Zombies:
1. Brain-eating- where did they get this idea from? I really would like to know. Some more real life-like zombies have been reported in Voodoo cases, where the person went missing and was pronounced dead, only to be used as a slave by a vengeful voodoo master. There is no reports of brain-eating, but this has been stretched too in various films. Flesh-eating/brain-eating was built out of a human fear of being eaten alive, and the brain, our most precious organ being eaten instills a deep seated fear and disgust with zombies.
2. Little to no intelligence- Zombies are basically animated corpses. I would assume that they could possibly use what little brain they have left that hasnt deteriorated, but for ancient zombies such as liches, then this would be impossible. Movie magic and fantasy are the fuels for this trait. Their main instincts seem to be hunger for living flesh. Curiously, they do not seem to eat their own kind, and being dead, it is uncertain how they would even digest the flesh they eat. Leaving this frustrating subject alone.....lets continue.
3. Slowga- Zombies are generally thought of to be slow. They lack muscle tissue, so they lack fast mobility, and are often aimless fleshy puppets.
4. How to become one- This is often debated, some movies insist it is a virus of some type that upon being bitten, a living person will die from it, and the virus will reanimate the person's body. Others suggest that there is a magical mastermind behind zombies, that magically animates them from corpses, so there is no human > zombie transistion. There is a scientific way to re-animate a body, and have it move and respond for a short period of time. It is also possible to revive something from technical death before it deteriorates. These are in very particular cases though, and could not realistically apply to zombies.
5. Age- Zombies range from young to old depending on the time they were risen. They are considered to be immortal until their leader is defeated, they are banished/sealed, or whatever is animating them is stopped. Lichs and mummys are generally the oldest zombies, although mummies might have their own category. Power is usually with the oldest, and is usually one mastermind behind mindless hordes. The lich is usually very intelligent, powerful, and cunning, having broken all fleshy bonds. Zombies tend to not have any social structure besides master and slave, but there could be larger brutes or combined monstrosities under one master. Zombies may of may not deteriorate once they are risen, though they may have major bone structures missing beforehand. This does not impede them from feeding usually.
6. Habitat- Night usually, although no real restrictions. Can inhabit all territories, but mostly graveyards and cities, where humans are.
7. How to kill them- A clean shot to the head usually does away with them. This makes no realistic sense, considering their brains are already nonfunctional. Decapitation is more permanent, and the amputation of limbs. Zombies cannot regenerate in most cases. Fire mostly works as well. They are usually invunerable to regular bullet shots, and most weather effects.
Vampires:
1. Drink blood- Arises from a more ancient fear similar to zombies, the stealing and/or eating of another vital human component. We can die without blood, although it has been variously interpreted on how much blood a vampire actually steals. Unlike zombies, blood is replaceable and regenerative, so the person still might live even if bitten. It is suggested that vampires drink blood much like the vampire bat, by biting with sharp fangs and lapping it. There are usually two signature fangs wounds as well. It is either very neatly done and inconspicuous, or it is bloody and messy, in which the person usually dies. Some say that any blood is somewhat acceptable, be it goat, dog, or human, although human is preferred. A curious detail is if vampires have blood running through their veins being dead, or is it frozen in time with the rest of them. Some films/books say yes, others the question does not occur.
2. Refined, cunning, and intelligent..for the most part- Most modern vampires are depicted as these suave and mysterious figures with elaborate cunning and webs of power over human lives and the world. They are refined, only dealing in the best of luxury with the millions they have accumulated through their immortal lives. Some would be disgusted at attacking a human directly, or drinking human blood because they consider it of low status. On the flip side, ancient vampires were considered as mindless blood drinkers that would transform into bats. They would hunt their victims at night, primarily women, and kill them by draining of blood. In recent times, the lowest classes of vampire are considered to be mindless blood drinking beasts.
3. Speed- Vampires are fast usually, in recent films faster than human eyes can follow. They can go through crowds of people undetected, or can even transform into a bat and fly away. Some have been shown to transform into other animals as well, like the panther. Most opinions would be that they are shadowy creatures that can move far beyond humans.
4. How to become one- This is more debated than zombification. They ways to become a vampire are many. Some include, simply being bitten, a virus injected, magic cast by the head/host vampire, or just being born as one. The ways are many, but most films and books only choose one or two because if that were the case, then there would be hordes of vampires simply because of all the ways people could become one. The same sources usually indicate some kind of social order between vampires based on seniority or power, they seem to be a very organized group with separate laws. There is no guarantee that vampires will not kill or feed on each other, unlike most assumptions about zombies.
5. Age- Vampires are thought to be immortal or close to it, pretty much hands down. There are thoughts that they are the devil's cursed children, on earth to harm and kill humans, making more followers, and are therefore granted basic immortality. They can always be killed by a stake to the heart, and decapitation seems to work too in cases where that occurs. Petrification, etc. The oldest are usually the most revered and are at the head of things. They are like liches in that they usually have immense magical power from many years of honing it. Anything powerful enough to warrant the attention of an elder is serious stuff.
6. Habitat- Night, cities/temples/villages where people are. Day, in a coffin or underground/indoor area with no access to light.
7. How to kill them--Vampires are known to explode or melt/vaporize at sunlight. A very select few *sparkle*, while others claim that the whole daylight thing is a myth altogether, they are just night owls or have skin that chars easily. In some interpetations, vampires will die in water as well. Perhaps the cleansing holy water refrence. They can always be killed with a stake to the heart, and directly the heart, although as mentioned before, more permanent killings do the trick too. Its hard to regen if your body is obliterated.